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Artículo ‘I haven’t officially split up with my ex, but in theory we called it off three years ago’ Books


‘I haven’t officially split up with my ex, but in theory we called it off three years ago’



Playground Traduccion

28 Junio 2017 15:43

If you’re still talking with your ex-girlfriend and can’t stop thinking about her, you’re suffering from broken heart syndrome. And you’re not going to like the diagnosis that science has got to offer

What if the end of a love affair can leave irreversible scars on your heart?

Broken heart. Scenario 1

‘I still haven’t officially split up with my ex-girlfriend. And in theory we called it off three years ago. The other day she came to my place to tell me that we had never ‘officially’ split up and that her psychologist had advised her to speak to me about it so she could move on. All very odd.’

Broken heart. Scenario 2

‘After my worst breakup I went through a stage that was similar to bereavement. In other words: a year coming to terms with breaking the habits I'd picked up over many years of living with my partner.’

Broken heart. Scenario 3

‘When I split up with a guy, I don’t want to have anything to do with him ever again. As Proust said, I don’t see the sense in ending a relationship but staying in contact. If I’d wanted to stay in contact, I would have done everything I could to avoid breaking up. In fact, that’s exactly what I do do, but in the end I’m left with no choice but to dynamite my bridges.’

So, when faced with this kind of dilemma, how can you avoid the heartache?

These are three true accounts we gathered to give voice to the notion of an emotional breakup. According to research published in the Personal Relationships journal, 40% of people maintain contact with a former partner, and around 13% said that they spoke with their ex several times a week.

Interestingly, this post-romance friendship is a reflection of a breakup that is yet to be properly addressed. According to the same study, the percentage of people who say they haven’t moved on was much higher among those who remained friends with their ex-partner. In fact, the likelihood of carrying on a simple relationship with an ex increased when the person in question said they were not very emotionally attached in their current relationship, albeit, as most claimed, not unsatisfied.

So maybe saying goodbye and not looking back isn’t the best road to take. Of course, every couple is unique, and there will always be those who deal with it better than others; but the statistics suggest that if you split up with your ex but try to stay in contact at all costs: you should take a long hard look at yourself.

When we embark on an intense relationship, our life habits are radically changed, we incorporate our partner’s routines and adapt to them so things can flow harmoniously and the relationship can move in the right direction… Until this degenerates into something far from healthy for which there’s no hope of a remedy. When an intense relationship comes to an end, we often hit a stage when we desperately try to get back to a scarcely remembered previous life, and we do so with a heavy heart and a sense of disorientation. Sometimes, personal crises can rear up without warning after losing contact with the person you love, or by the void they leave behind.

In these cases, you might think the sensible thing is to cut all ties, and let time do the healing. But, apparently, this is not a valid option, at least when it comes to matters of the heart.

A recent study conducted by the British Heart Foundation (BHF) has revealed that the end of a love affair might open irreversible physical scars. It is known as ‘Takotsubo cardiomyopathy’ or ‘Broken heart syndrome’, and occurs when someone undergoes intense emotional stress. Under such conditions, their hearts can develop tiny scars that reduced the organ’s elasticity and, as a result, stops it contracting as it should.

So the heart can hurt, literally.

Final scenario: broken heart.