If you poo in the shower and then break it up with your foot so it goes down the drain, you. are. out.
06 Julio 2018 11:42
Ain't love grand?
‘He tried to masturbate with his fingers stained with dust from orange worm sweets.'
‘She was great, but she let her two dogs shit in her apartment, and then she left it there for days. I'm talking about dry and hard dog poop resting on the floor of your kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, anywhere. And I thought it was weird that it was a problem for me.’
‘This posh middle school kid and I got along quite well, and suddenly I saw how he sat with his friends bullying kids with disabilities. On top of that he was super nice with the educator who worked with these kids, and volunteered to make their lives impossible. He asked me out, I said no.’
‘He fought with the waiter because there was only Cabernet Sauvignon on the menu, not Cabernet. He insisted that the Cabernet was better Let's see, I have no idea, but I know I do not want to go out with someone so convinced that he's right that he would literally fight with someone who serves wine to live.’
‘She was talking to me about her boyfriend when she casually mentioned that he was married 'like her last boyfriend. Later I found out that she had dated three married men and a gay guy she almost married.’
‘She told me about his fantastic and exciting life, but the more I knew about her, the more gaps I saw in her stories. It turns out that she was a pathological liar and that I did not know her at all.
‘The girl who had drawn me, over three weeks and multiple dates, turned out to be completely fictitious. The magic died when I asked her about a little inconsistency, giving her the benefit of the doubt, she turned around and started attacking me about my life, pretending it was for my own good. Just to avoid a question.’
‘She told me that in another life I had been a vampire hunter and that she was a vampire and she was scared that I would kill her.’
‘When her petulant son crossed his face and she laughed at it. She also talked about herself in the third person …’
‘He picked out a snot and wiped it on the door handle. There were people watching.’
‘My ex once asked me to accompany him to the bathroom while he showered so he could tell me about his day. After a few minutes the worst smell that you can imagine came to my nose and I started coughing.
‘While trying to breathe I asked what happened, and he interrupted me laughing and said, “Sorry, honey, I could not wait anymore”. And he showed me the shit he had done in the shower. I was pretty horrified, but I thought accidents happen. Then he began to break it up with his foot so that it went down the drain.
‘And all he said was: “Oh, honey, do not worry, I do it constantly”,’