19 Julio 2017 09:20
Is it ok to have sex with your baby there if he has no notion of what is happening?
This is Tasha Maile, the San Diego YouTuber behind the channel The Spiritual Tasha Mama. In her videos, Tasha speaks candidly about maternity and veganism, giving straight answers to mothers’ questions while breastfeeding in front of the camera.
Just over a year ago, Tasha uploaded a video that addresses a controversial topic that many women had asked her about: is it wrong to have sex while breastfeeding your baby?
‘I’ve had a lot of people ask me if it is OK to breastfeed and have sex… I remember the baby sleeping on me, breastfeeding, and my ex-husband and I would have sex from behind. There’s nothing bad about making love, at all, ever. So enjoy it. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your fantasies.’
The video has put the YouTuber in the spotlight, leading to her recent interview on the British TV programme, The Morning, when she had the chance to defend herself.
Now, I may find it hard to know where I stand on the subject, but, right from the first minute, I didn't take kindly to how the programme’s presenters treated the woman. ‘Who made them the moral police?’, I wondered.
At one point, they even question her over the idea that others might watch her videos with ‘other intentions’, as if she were responsible for someone deciding to masturbate over a woman feeding her baby.
It’s true that these sickoes really do exist, but judging her because of a few mentally-disturbed wankers loitering on her channel is the same as justifying harassment or rape because of what clothes women decide to put on.
Tasha makes it perfectly clear that her baby’s safety was not in danger at any moment, that he was sleeping and that, in any case, at three months he would have had no notion of what was happening. Although rationally I can’t see anything wrong with this, part of me finds the whole thing a little creepy.
To try to get a clearer picture, I asked a few of my co-workers at PlayGround to find out what their opinion was. Just like on the Internet, the opinions around here could not have been more divided:
‘It’s a bit like pooing and eating at the same time. I think there are much worse things you can do in the world, but I also think there’s a time for everything. There’s no need to mix the two.’
‘Although physically this must be pretty uncomfortable (I can’t imagine what posture from the Kama Sutra works best with having a baby on your breast), it doesn’t seem wrong if the baby has no idea what’s going on. I wouldn’t do it (just as it makes me feel funny to have sex with my cats watching), but it seems perfectly reasonable for someone who has no problem doing both things at once’.
‘I think this girl has got psychological and ethical issues. She can’t distinguish between her role as a mummy and her role as a sexy mummy. And she calls herself “spiritual”, which, for me, says it all. I reckon she has serious issues with sex and with an obsession with showing her breasts on social networks. These disorders have names. It reminds me of the film Nymphomaniac, when the main character decides to stop his treatment and makes a powerful statement to justify his actions… very strong (like this message of the spiritual, sexy mummy), but also very sad’.
‘As a father, I’ve had moments when I’ve got horny while the baby was nearby (in the bed) and we didn’t carry on because it felt too weird. In my opinion, there’s a time for everything and I would try to keep sex and breastfeeding separate. Although it is true that while your baby’s breastfeeding there isn’t much time for sex…’
Soul almost 3, and still strong on breastfeeding ?? #breastfeedingisbeautiful #breastfeedingtoddler #humanbodiesexpectbreastmilkuntil7 Did you know a child's immune system is immature until 6 or so years old. And the human body expects milk until at least 7. When did drinking milk from a cow become a thing? Not only that but adults still breastfeeding from a cow?? And did you ever see a label that says " hormone free" what an oxymoron... milk IS hormonal fluid... ? I know the only hormonal fluid I consciously want is that of my mothers. And that ship has sailed long ago. As for my Little's, doing the best I can to keep them healthy, wealthy and wise. The touch, smell, skin to skin, love, nutrition, bond with a mother is no joke. Nature has us perfectly designed, it's the interventions and interference that puts things out of alignment. #followyourheart it's the only real voice you will ever truly have <3
‘I think that as long as the baby is in no danger of getting hurt, I don’t see the problem. At that age there’s no such thing as morals, and I don’t see seeking pleasure as being immoral anyway. Listen to common sense, not Jesus Christ.’
’I think it’s seriously weird. These are two completely different activities and doing them at the same time means not thinking about one thing to do the other. It’s one thing to have sex with your baby closeby, in his cot, for example, I can understand how a couple could do that. But as soon as there’s physical contact and the woman is having full-on sex, breastfeeding takes on another connotation, which it shouldn’t. It’s bizarre, even if the baby isn’t aware, that the mother can get sexually aroused by contact she has with her child. In our culture, it’s bizarre.’
‘I just don’t think it’s necessary. It’s as simple as that. There’s time for everything. The only possible way of explaining why you would do this, is if you get off on it. Each to their own when it comes to sexual fetishes and their desire to make them public, but like I say, it’s not necessary’.
‘I think it would be me who’d have the problem if I were in this situation. I wouldn’t be so worried about the baby, as I can’t imagine it would do him any harm. I think I’d find it hard to get aroused with a baby in my arms, whether he was sleeping or not. If doing it in front of my dog isn’t an option… I can’t imagine it with a baby in my arms’.
‘Everyone can do whatever turns them on, especially when it comes to sex. Although I would often draw the line of ‘as long as it doesn’t do anyone any harm’. I doubt a 3-month-old baby would be affected by witnessing his mother having sex with someone else; although we’ve all suffered from that childhood trauma of hearing our parents having sex. I don’t know what kind of Freudian drive is involved there but it can definitely give you nightmares. On the other hand, if you think about it, maybe those ‘nightmares’ and our traumas at hearing our parents doing what they did so that we could exist, could be a reflection of a society that has completely failed to normalise sex. So, I don’t know… what I’d do is see how the child is in 18 years’ time. Who knows, maybe this woman’s just got a much more advanced and natural take on sex than we have’.